I Want This

This film is an exploration of maternal mental health and identity. As a mum myself, I’m keen to contribute to more diverse, nuanced portrayals of motherhood on screen, smashing some of the dated stereotypes of perfection and passivity that still pervade. It was commissioned by the Exeter Phoenix and is my first film. I was very inspired by Nina Menkes’ 'Brainwashed: Sex-Camera-Power' and actively applied a feminist lens to the work. I also drew inspiration from the night scenes in 'Moonlight' and the presence of nature in 'Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon'.
As the writing evolved, I chose to weave poetry in voiceover through the piece to contrast with the domesticity of the imagery and to heighten the emotional connection to the central character – we feel with her rather than looking at her. A melody came to me as I was writing which I then sang as a backdrop to the film to represent the woman’s inner voice emerging. Nature acts in dialogue with the woman, helping her reintegration – a reminder, in a time of climate emergency, that our connection with nature can be mutually healing.