kissing the wall

Peering through the window of my life, one might easily mistake it for a picturesque scene straight out of a glossy magazine—a tableau of apparent success and fulfillment. With a thriving social circle, a distinguished military service history, a fulfilling career, a radiant partner, three wonderful children, and even a garden and a dog that refuses to lie in it. my life seems to check all the boxes of societal expectations. Yet, behind this meticulously crafted facade lies a truth too heavy to bear—a truth that gnaws at the very core of my being.

Despite outward appearances, a profound sense of emptiness haunts me, a relentless ache for meaning and belonging that refuses to be silenced. Even amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life, a pervasive loneliness weighs heavy on my soul, an invisible burden I carry alone. The relentless pursuit of perfection, fueled by an insatiable need for validation, only serves to deepen the chasm within, plunging me into the depths of anxiety, depression, and unyielding despair.

In the pages of Alice Miller's enlightening tome, "The Drama of the Gifted Child," I find echoes of my own struggles—a poignant reminder of the enduring impact of unmet emotional needs on the human psyche. Like many others, I too have succumbed to the allure of a "false self," an idealized image fashioned to appease the expectations of others, only to find myself drowning in the sea of my own inadequacies.

This, then, is my life story—a narrative of yearning, of unspoken desires, and the relentless quest for authenticity in a world consumed by illusion. It is a story mirrored in the lives of Yoni and Amelie, the protagonists of my film—a poignant exploration of two souls bound by shared anguish, yet destined to dance on the periphery of each other's lives.

As the director of this film, I am compelled to peel back the layers of pretense and reveal the raw, unvarnished truth that lies beneath. For in the vulnerability of our shared humanity lies the promise of redemption—a promise that beckons us to embrace our flaws and forge genuine connections, even amidst the vast expanse of our existential voids.

I wanted to tell, perhaps for the first time on the screen, about a "perfect" man who lives in an unspeakable existential void. He desperately needs to see himself in another, to be approved, to feel something.
For her it is seen as a fantasy. She also knows it - she's funny, looks like a dream and everything seems to be "easy" for her. But she is childish, without limits, with a huge need for a family, an anchor.

kissing the wall.