Private Project

When I Wallowed in a Bowl of Sunshine

Two friends, Sunshine and Frena, traverse the pandemic through rumination on mundane things. Segmented into 4 poetic parts, the 14-day quarantine period they experience stretches the boundaries of their self-hood all the while grieving and longing for and with each other.

  • Kukay Zinampan
  • Kukay Zinampan
  • Racquel Morilla
  • Jzar Tabilin
    Key Cast
  • Kukay Bautista Magiliw
    Key Cast
  • Project Title (Original Language):
    Nang Maglublob Ako sa Isang Mangkok ng Liwanag
  • Project Type:
    Short, Student
  • Runtime:
    24 minutes 38 seconds
  • Completion Date:
    August 9, 2021
  • Country of Origin:
  • Country of Filming:
  • Language:
  • Shooting Format:
  • Aspect Ratio:
  • Film Color:
  • First-time Filmmaker:
  • Student Project:
    Yes - University of the Philippines
  • Pelikultura: CALABARZON Film Festival
    Antipolo City, Rizal
    October 16, 2021
    Best Film, Best Performance
  • UP Pride Film Festival
    Quezon City, NCR
    October 26, 2021
    Official Selection
  • For Rainbow
    Fortaleza, Ceara
    November 19, 2021
    Best Foreign Short, Best Art Direction
  • BINISAYA Film Festival

    November 11, 2021
    Official Selection, BINISAYA Horizons
  • Gawad Sining Short Film Festival
    Quezon City
    January 1, 2022
    Official Selection (on-going)
  • Cinema Rehiyon

    February 26, 2022
    Official Selection
Director Biography - Kukay Zinampan

Kukay is a queer writer, theatre and film collaborator based in the Philippines.

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Director Statement

The film is an attempt to reconcile my experiences of trans/queer lives, both in material reality and representation, in relation to its anticipated and sanctioned (by hetero-patriarchal and fascist systems) narrative trajectory: conclusion through and as death. Indeed, a most violent irony, to portray queer lives not on their living, multiple terms but only in their terminus: I feel frustrated and tired. Obviously, this particular narrativization of trans/queer identities in the literary and filmic spaces had its own historical moment, and everyday reality for trans/queer bodies and embodiments reeks of state-supported violence and death, but it is important to ask: what stories, what hope do we cling to now especially in the time of CoVid-19 and ever-intensifying fascism?

Ironically, what came of off this exhaustion and frustration is a film that grieves, not solely for another (often, violently represented) death, for a life ended once more, dishearteningly too soon, but for the radical feeling of grieving in solidarity. I wanted to explore how grieving feels when it is in solidarity with human and non-human agencies, with animal and botanical beings. It is also grief without end, for every day, we carry with us our dead and our histories. As we lie awake, we awaken them, in spirit.

I conjure the narrative in poetry and non-linearity, much as how I believe we experience reality materially – timelines clashing with and against each other, one moment populated by setbacks and loss, and another by moments of joy, and longing and dreams; and virtually, again our timelines albeit algorithmically personalized, as informed by the scrolling interface – one moment a meme, another a call to action. It is in this non-linear temporality, a very queer one at that, that I intend the two human characters to apparate (appear magically) for each other’s company. This is done in avoidance of misleading the viewer into a linear, therefore terminal trajectory. It is an active gesture showing the ever-thickening present and our ever-present grief.

Let us be, which is also to say, let us grieve.