Ubiquitous

The film follows Lee Brown, who is severely depressed and believes the only way to save herself is by winning Best Picture at a prestigious film festival. She navigates her depression and recent breakup through therapy and some other (not quite as healthy) coping mechanisms. The film explores unhealthy attachment, self-harm, loneliness, artist obsession, and chronic emptiness.

In the summer of 2023, I went through the lowest point of my life and I had just been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder after years of believing something was fundamentally wrong with me. The way I attach myself to people, the way I drown in my feelings, and the way I feel the most alone in a crowded room all finally made sense. My diagnosis felt terminal and everyday I felt as if I was already dead, like I was a robot operating through the most simple of tasks. I was nominated for Best Picture at a film festival that was being held at the local theater of my town. Surrounded by people who love me and support me, I waited eagerly in my seat to hear if my name would be called as the winner of Best Picture. I took home the award that night and was given extensive support of friends, family, and even strangers. Despite it all, I had felt nothing but emptiness and loneliness. I came to the terrifying conclusion that nothing would fix me. To cope with these dreadful feelings, I started writing this script. I began by writing quotes, then created a character that I strongly identified with, and created a story that resembled my life at the time. Two years later, I have come out of that dark space and I owe this project credibility in saving my life.

Because of the relatively recent scientific findings of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), there has not been much media made discussing its nature. I believe it is important for me to tell this story because in a way it is my own, personal story. I have worked very hard in creating a character and a story that depicts BPD symptoms and physical manifestations of the disorder. It is important to spread awareness and to disband the stereotypes and false narratives that have been given to those with BPD.

At the very least, I hope the audience is moved by this film. I hope that it is relatable in some aspect and that the character’s flaws and strengths can become a comfort. I made Lee a very imperfect character to show the realistic balance in all of us. I want the audience to feel as empty and lonely as Lee does when they watch this so they can understand her better. I hope the audience can come to understand Lee for me because I felt so misunderstood during this time of my life. I hope this film brings hope for those who are in a similar position and I hope at least one person can feel seen by this.