THIS IS NOT A LOVE SONG

Rock music had a profound influence on my life. I've been obsessed with it for as long as I can remember. Growing up in a poverty-stricken neighborhood in the Middle East, raised by my Holocaust survivor grandmother, I developed a dark perspective of the world.

Fortunately, cinema and music became my best friends, and I could never be lonely with them by my side. The script originally stemmed from a childhood fantasy I had at age 12 – I convinced myself that the ghost of the late Kurt Cobain was living in my room. I wrote a sweet script about an unpopular kid who meets her favorite rock star, and he helps her overcome her difficulties and bullies. Coincidentally, after writing the first draft, I watched the documentary "Look Away" by Sophie Cunningham.
The film revolves around the music industry's approach to young groupies - girls who were pushed or pulled into relationships with musicians much older than them. 'Look Away' is built around extensive interviews with these survivors.

Suddenly, I realized I have no more idols – everyone, from Michael Jackson to Iggy Pop, were actually predators or abusers. This reminded me of a notorious case in my country – a successful singer who was caught having sexual relationships with 14, 15, and 16-year olds.

I knew his victims personally, as I had volunteered at a rape crisis center.Unsurprisingly, he emerged unscathed. The singer claimed there was consent, but what is consent when you're a 14-year-old child?

I've always appreciated films that keep you wondering, questioning, and provide food for thought. The film was shot in London as my final graduation project for my MA. Having moved to London that year, I experienced countless hardships as a new immigrant. I felt particularly lonely around the holidays. As a Jewish woman who had never experienced Christmas, I felt awkward telling people this holiday wasn't part of my culture. It felt like there was this big party happening and I wasn't invited.
I connected this experience - the immigration process and my own loneliness - to what it's like being a girl in the world. That moment when puberty hits hard and you're confused and afraid, your body constantly changing. I felt compelled to portray these young survivors. Through this film, I reflect on my own experiences as well.

Who bears responsibility for these cases, and if it was consensual, why do they all feel such deep regret today? Neither I nor my film has all the answers, and I leave it to viewers as a point of debate. I also didn't create a clear-cut situation between the two main characters, leaving it as more of a 'grey area' case, as these situations often are, yet even then, these questions are important and should be asked.

I'm grateful I had the opportunity to explore these themes in my final project. This film is about power and admiration, dreams and reality, loneliness and fame. It's a deep dive into the complexities of adulthood, and as such, I tried to mark these transitions with my cinematic tools. The film was shot on a tripod, and as the last scene shakes the ground and breaks the rules, it's the only scene shot handheld. I tried to create a clear distinction with the lighting and color grading, emphasizing the girl's young age.

The shining lights of glory and show business in the first scene contrast sharply with the lighting in the bedroom. I wanted to create a distinction between the woman the girl is trying to be, and the bedroom where she is essentially an insecure little girl with a night lamp, hiding from monsters that may or may not be under her bed.

Casting this project and developing the cinematography with my DOP was probably the most rewarding part, as I had a clear vision and vivid childhood memories to draw from. I was fortunate to be blessed with great friends who contributed to the film's crowdfunding campaign - while making films is always challenging, doing so as a broke student/immigrant was particularly difficult. I cannot express enough gratitude to them.

This film is both deeply personal and universally relevant. I would greatly appreciate you watching it and including it in your festival, and I sincerely hope you'll help me make the voices of these girls - heard.
Sincerely,
Mor Peled