PREP

I stand in a dark grey tent.

A pair of rubber gloves spread spray tan throughout my lean muscular body.

I am surrounded by my superheroes; dogged artists who use their bodies as a canvas sculpted by dumbbells and food scales. I felt fearless in their presence, despite the isolation that came with this journey and the way my parents stared at my tan when I came home that night.

My experience with the sport of bodybuilding has been nothing shy of polarizing. While I’ve never felt more confident as my body transformed into one of a Greek statue, my mental health hit rock bottom through episodes of binge eating and relentless dedication towards pursuing perfection. I found myself trapped in a world fueled by toxic hustle culture and false positives about masculine beauty that ultimately revealed childhood traumas in need of attention.

PREP is a portrait of all that can simultaneously build and destroy us; an expression of the traumas we attempt to evade and the loneliness that accompanies many when striving to push our limits.

My short film is a commitment to dive deep into the psychology of competitive bodybuilders. A series of unflinching vignettes with pulsing techno music as the heartbeat to our hero’s sprint towards the winning physique. I aim to explore underneath the armor of these athletes to show the multitude of triumph and tragedy within this overlooked sport.

I feel a responsibility to remind these modern-day gladiators to breathe; you’re not alone.