God_my_GODDESS, from the series “Lost Tapes” 1997/2017

An ahead-of-its-time portrait of a gay man as muse, the Dominican writer Octavio R. Gonzalez. Filmed on VHS in 1997 then re-edited in 2017 as a part of the "Lost Tapes" series. The VHS footage, over time, has become muted and grainy, and the effect is one of a time-capsule.

In the film, the gaze is flipped as the woman director is observing the man, while the man is looking into the mirror. We recall Narcissus' eye in the water. The mirror serves to transport us as an intimate witness to the transformation of the man through the application and removal of his makeup; the recognition of his own beauty, and back again.

Film lies at the intersection of life: what we observe, who we love and what we privilege in filming it. As a young teenager, I had the opportunity to study and make film from the mid-eighties on through the CAP Communication Arts Program in Maryland from 7th through 12th grades. Before there were Iphones and social media, I filmed my friends and lovers on VHS and Super 8 film. My favorite moments to watch now are those where my camera would catch an intimate view of men in observation of their beauty; their faces, bodies, and their self-image, as in this film, God_my_GODDESS.

  • Malado Francine Baldwin
    Director
    LUX/NOX, El cadáver exquisito
  • Malado Baldwin
    Writer
  • Malado Baldwin
    Producer
  • Octavio Gonzalez
    Key Cast
  • Amelia Peterson
    Editor
  • David Burdick
    Sound
  • Project Type:
    Experimental, Music Video, Short, Web / New Media, Other
  • Genres:
    Art film, gay lesbian film
  • Runtime:
    2 minutes 43 seconds
  • Completion Date:
    November 1, 2017
  • Country of Origin:
    United States
  • Country of Filming:
    United States
  • Language:
    English
  • Shooting Format:
    VHS
  • Aspect Ratio:
    16:9
  • Film Color:
    Color
  • First-time Filmmaker:
    No
  • Student Project:
    No
  • X Marks the Spot: Women of the New York Studio School 2018
    New York
    August 15, 2018
    North American Premiere
  • KeyHole Gallery 2018
    Brooklyn, New York
    United States
  • Winslow Garage 2018
    Silver Lake, California
    United States
    December 1, 2018
  • Everywoman Biennial 2019
    New YOrk
  • Grrl Haus Cinema 2019
    Berlin
    Germany
    July 25, 2019
    European premier
  • LA Center of Photography + LA Freewaves 2019
    Los Angeles
Director Biography - Malado Francine Baldwin

Malado Baldwin is an American multi-media artist based in Los Angeles, known for her work in text and image.

Film screenings include the Femmes Video Festival @Fair Play Miami FL, Video Konstfestival @Magasinet Falun, Sweden, Brooklyn Fireproof, Codex Dynamic Brooklyn, The Situation Room LA, and Virginia Commonwealth University.

Her early film work was acquired as a part of Miranda July's feminist film archive 'Joanie4Jackie' at the J. Paul Getty Research Institute and Bard College. She is a recipient of the Buckingham Prize for the expression of music in art, and the LCU Foundation grant for women.

Exhibitions include Kean University NJ, Winslow Garage LA, List Gallery, PA and Gawker Artists NY. Group exhibitions include Hackett Mill Gallery, San Francisco, For Your Art LA, Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions (LACE), Sideshow Gallery Brooklyn, Post Gallery LA, and events for Maiden LA and the Berlin Collective. In 2018 she co-curated: 'X Marks the Spot: Women of the New York Studio School', and is a founder of the Association of Hysteric Curators. She received an MFA in painting from the New York Studio School, and a BA in comparative literature with film and fine art from Swarthmore College.

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Director Statement

As an artist, my goal is to weave new narratives of cultural inheritance. As a former riot grrrl and a feminist, my interest in film lies in reversing the gaze and ownership of the object of beauty. Film lies at the intersection of life: what we observe, who we love and what we privilege in filming it.

"God_my_GODDESS" is a part of my "LOST TAPES" series, a new series of works based on footage I filmed in the 1990s with friends in underground art scenes.