So, my marketing team, whatever that is, told me I had to come up with a bio… something that tells people who I am and what I’m about. See, here’s the problem: I don’t do that…. I make up other people out of nothing (something?), then I write about them… if you think about it, there’s a perfectly logical explanation for this: you see, in the Universe’s I create, and with the peeps I populate them with, I am God.

That’s right, you heard me correctly. It is my House, with a capital H, and as Teddy KGB tells Matt Damon in ‘Rounders’, “… and in my house, I vill splash zi pot… (big flourish as chips go everywhere)… whenever… zi fuck… I vant!” Amen to that, brother… Splash that pot! Let’s get this party started up in here.