CHANT OF THE DESERT FLOWER

At age of 6 years old, I have personally experienced sexual assault by my step father and his father. I tried to tell my mother about this tragedy, and she told me to keep quiet, to bury this painful secret, to forget about what happened. Time has gone but until today, I cannot say I have fully recovered, nor forgotten, but I want to help women who are on the same path of healing and highlight the widely supported injustice of people’s behavior regarding this issue.

Rape has been and is still too common in our society and victims are often marginalized when they dare to speak out, as much as perpetrators are rarely punished… A popular saying in Cambodia is « Women are Prahok (fermented fish), when you open them, they stink », as for men the saying is opposite « Men are gold, whatever their actions, they can be washed clean ». As women, when we confront our perpetrators, our relatives often tell us that “it's shameful for our entire family and it can tarnish the reputation of our family”, especially in a society where virginity of young girls literally has a « face value ». Ultimately, it is we, the victims, who are left feeling ashamed in our own village, in our own families.

With this film, I want to speak out for all the women who do not dare to speak as they fear society will point fingers and exclude them. We are punished twice, and families who keep these heavy secrets share a responsibility in the brutality made to us women and the inhumanity we are treated with. I would like our society to realize this by depicting the broken lives caused by rape and emphasis their pains, but also show their humanity.

A man who assaults a girl or a woman, often cannot fathom the multiple negative impacts it will have over an entire existence, and an unwanted child will carry a burden, as a PTSD is transmitted through several generations. Rape impacts us physically, we feel multiple pains that come back in waves, even years later and a child can become a physical scar, nevertheless, most women decide to keep the child and give them love. But rape has long lasting psychological consequences leading to lack of self-confidence, anxiety, depression, and even suicide, it is a never-ending nightmare.

I have based this story not only on my experience but also inspired by the stories of many women of Cambodia who have to live through this. All these women and children need to live, need to love and be loved, even though they are damaged and their heart has been burned to ashes. I want this film to give hope to these women, to allow them to love again and look toward the future. By showing the humanity of this mother and child, I want to call for indulgence toward women who have a painful past and try to create relationships. Hope and love can overcome our tragic experiences and make us strong again, even if some wound shall never heal.