As I Die

P, a girl who had left her hometown to escape her major depression returns from her study abroad to tie up some loose ends. After an unexpected encounter with her ex-boyfriend, this short visit turns into a major relapse. The question is, how will she overcome it this time?

  • Jessica Marcela Torres
  • Jessica Marcela Torres
  • Jessica Marcela Torres
  • Franchesca Valdez
    Key Cast
  • Sean Harrison
    Key Cast
  • Wilson Aldas
    Key Cast
  • Jessica Marcela Torres
  • Ian Brown
  • Deanté Gray
    Director of Photography
  • Frank Anthony Ruiz
    Sound Editor / Rerecording Mixer
  • Project Type:
    Short, Student
  • Runtime:
    11 minutes 15 seconds
  • Completion Date:
    August 10, 2020
  • Production Budget:
    7,000 USD
  • Country of Origin:
    United States
  • Country of Filming:
    United States
  • Language:
  • Shooting Format:
  • Aspect Ratio:
  • Film Color:
  • First-time Filmmaker:
  • Student Project:
  • Warner Brothers Lot Theater
    Burbank, CA
    United States
    September 18, 2019
  • New York Movie Awards

  • Lift-Off Sessions 2020

Director Biography - Jessica Marcela Torres

Jessica is a dedicated independent filmmaker from Morristown, New Jersey. Having won 3rd place for her documentary "Hello my name is...", technical merit for "Toxic" and 2nd place for her documentary "A Better Day" as a high schooler at the Annual Morristown High School Film Festival, Jessica decided to pursue a career in filmmaking at Ithaca College. After delving into the television world, Jessica continued exploring the basics of filmmaking at New York Film Academy in Los Angeles where she earned her master's degree and found her love for assistant directing. Today, Jessica continues her filmmaking career as a freelance assistant editor and assistant director.

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Director Statement

There's still much to explore on the topic of suicide, why it happens, how to handle it, what to look out for. I set out to explore the topic of suicide, starting with my first film on the topic "Unspoken Tears." In that film, I explored suicide from the perspective of those who were left behind. "As I Die" looks at suicide from the perspective of the person actually committing it. I didn't want to stereotype the character, so I used my personal experience of depression and my lowest points in life that almost led me to that point.

It wasn't until I set out on the development of the script that I learned how those with signs of being suicidal and depression were put aside and judged. Very few understood the protagonist had depression, even fewer understood the reason as to why she had depression. Many downplayed her reasons and refused to believe those were plausible reasons, others believed it was the ex-lover that pushed her to commit suicide.

In this short film, I am trying to bring to light reasons to suicide that isn't commonly understood. In our protagonist's case, she feels alone, misunderstood, and trying to find herself all while dealing with emotional abuse, anxiety, and clinical depression. This is a universal issue that I want to bring awareness to. Especially for those who don't understand and to those who are experiencing it, a sign that someone out there does understand what they're going through.