Private Project

A Memoir in Dance

This film is a subjective journey of the filmmaker trying to understand and reflect on her experiences with depression and anxiety using animation, dance and experimental themes through which she can recognise her mental health better. She also recites some of the daily loggings from her journal as an archive to discover how she coped with a depressive phase in her life.

  • Ayushi Alva
    Director
  • Anna Dedecek
    Director of Photography
  • Martand Ugalmugle
    Animation Artist
  • Kivarah De Luca
    Choreographer
  • Olivia Dance
    Music Composer
  • Ujjwal Yadav
    Colorist
  • Project Type:
    Animation, Documentary, Experimental, Short, Student
  • Runtime:
    10 minutes 15 seconds
  • Completion Date:
    June 23, 2024
  • Production Budget:
    700 EUR
  • Country of Origin:
    India
  • Country of Filming:
    Czechia, India
  • Language:
    English
  • Shooting Format:
    Digital
  • Aspect Ratio:
    16:9
  • Film Color:
    Color
  • First-time Filmmaker:
    Yes
  • Student Project:
    Yes - Prague Film School
  • Digital Cinema Package:
    Unavailable
  • Ji.hlava International Documentary Film Festival
    Jihlava
    Czech Republic
    October 25, 2024
    World Premiere
    Selection in Fascinations: Exprmntl.cz
Director Biography - Ayushi Alva

Ayushi Alva is a documentary filmmaker, editor, and film programmer from Mumbai, India. Her work blends personal narratives with archival and political themes, often exploring mental health, memory, and identity through experimental storytelling. A graduate of Prague Film School in Documentary Filmmaking, Ayushi's film A Memoir in Dance premiered at the Ji.hlava International Documentary Film Festival in 2024, earning recognition for its innovative use of animation and dance to depict emotional introspection. Beyond filmmaking, she is also a writer, social worker, and curator, committed to amplifying diverse voices in cinema.

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Director Statement

Since my childhood, I have had phases of extreme depression to minor panic attacks almost every day. I grew up in a small, conservative town. To cope with the trauma, I had suppressed and fabricated a lot of my memories of the time.
In 2019, while living in Mumbai, COVID - 19 hit the world; everything went under lockdown. Everyone was under isolation. I could not find the comfort that I needed at home anymore, which pushed me into a deeper state of depression. The four walls of my room became the only thing I saw everyday. I would not leave my room for days. The walls felt like they would collapse in on me any second. I started therapy and started writing about my feelings, anxieties and triggers. I believed I was out of this phase until I moved to Prague in 2022. In Prague, I noticed a lot of my triggers and depressive behaviours come back.

This film addresses these themes through my voice over - reciting the journals and animation of faint memories in dreams/nightmares. I have a self dialogue through voice overs throughout the film on how I can connect my past and present. It also travels across some of the places I have visited in Prague during my stay and reflects my emotions through them. I decided to use interpretive dance as a way to depict the feelings of distress and anxiety.

Through this film, I wanted to reflect on my feelings as well as recognise the changes I have made in my life in order to cope with my depression. To understand myself better and how I can help myself through it again.