!

! was inspired by the difficulty I’ve always experienced in beginning tasks, and the resulting whirlwind of manic work that I inevitably put myself through just before a due date. It’s so common for us to reach for our distractions until we simply can’t afford to anymore, and it can reach the point of becoming painful and scary. I make up the time I lose through days without food or sleep, and no matter the consequences, the cycle always continues. When a task is assigned, I freeze. Once I thaw, it’s by the fire of impending catastrophe instead of healthy motivation. Finally recognizing the disorder in this after leaving high school, I sought professional opinion and was diagnosed with ADHD during the production of this film. I made ! out of frustration, and by capturing my most toxic habit in a tangible form, I can hope to stare it in the face, and slowly but surely inch away.