The Modern Woman's Guide to Pastry-Making

When beginning this film, the two women featured, Francis and Mathilde, were originally intended to be representative of my own split struggle as a sexual abuse survivor. Both in knowing that I needed to face my past more directly, but hoping that ignoring my experiences would dissipate their effects. Right before writing, I had an explosive (but needed) end to a fairly toxic romantic relationship. As a way of processing elements of both of these, the story evolved to confront the way I had romanticized our codependency. It was a way to work through/address intimacy and love, and the problems that persist despite that.

When writing this piece, it wasn’t as important for me that their actual pasts come across, but how their approaches to their healing impacts their relationship. Francis and Mathilde are both representative of my own internal struggle as a sexual abuse survivor, as well as my ideation of romantic love. While both women have reached a certain level of healing in their cabin isolation, their dynamic is no longer working. Francis is still content, hiding away in their own corner of the world—   Mathilde starting to feel that their pattern of avoidance is unhealthy, and that terrifies Francis.  She’s not ready to fully address what has happened, and is worried about the emotional fallout that follows whenever she digs deeper into her trauma.  While it can be painful and difficult to address, glossing over wounds as she does leads to more problems than the temporary reprieve it brings. On top of this, Francis has begun to rely on their relationship for her own happiness, and cannot handle the thought of it ending.

The writings and love sonnets of Pablo Neruda have always been near and dear to my heart, and brief excerpts are featured within the film. While it can be hauntingly beautiful, what kept drawing me back was the deep desire and desperation that just oozed out. As someone who struggles with a fear of abandonment, his words read to me as cries for reassurance. For Francis, living in this romantic bubble, his writing seemed like the perfect indirect outlet for her emotions towards Mathilde. They’ve both leaned on one another, but Francis is almost crippled by her need for their love to go on. Mathilde still cares deeply for her partner, but doesn’t know how to be what she needs. This film is a story about intimacy and love, and having to deal with the problems that persist despite that.