A Life With

A Life With came out of the worries of two lovers. At the beginning of 2023, a Toyota Tacoma smashed into my Nissan Ultima at 70 miles per hour, completely destroying my car. I was lucky, somehow getting out of it unscathed, but the accident terrified my girlfriend. She started to think about what if I had died in the accident, and what life without me would be like. For different circumstances, I had been imagining the same, as she was actively training to go into the Air Force, and would be leaving me behind someday soon when she deployed.

While creating A Life With, I wanted to discuss the emotions of loss and abandonment both my girlfriend and I were feeling. The main character, Cassie, explores our imaginations, as her relationship ends due to her boyfriend, Jesse, being accepted to his dream school of USC. From my experience, the end of a relationship is akin to the death of a person, so to reflect this connection, the film’s story is structured after the five stages of grief, as Cassie works her way from denial to acceptance. I felt it was important that each stage felt unique and distinct from the other, in order to affirm to the audience where Cassie was at in her growth. The Spartan helmet, both similar to the mascot of USC and a self-insertion into the story, reflects the stability of the relationship and Cassie’s love towards Jesse.

I really wanted the audience to feel the isolation and betrayal Cassie felt, while also understanding the difficulty in Jesse’s decision. I didn’t want either character to feel entirely justified by their actions, as relationships are complicated and require commitment and compromise from both sides.

Entering my senior year at Sacramento State, I had to take my Capstone Production class, and I knew I wanted to direct. Having come up with A Life With months before, I knew the film was going to be the one to give me the opportunity to do so. I worked with a classmate, Rachel, to help perfect the script, and pitched the film to the class. I got the opportunity to work with an amazing team, who all voted and volunteered to be a part of the production. We found our lead actress, Faith, who from her audition alone, I knew we were going to be able to convey the really complex and deep emotions that need to be portrayed in order to live up to the vision of the film. And we were fortunate enough to get funding from family members and loved ones, who understood the potential of the film and the difficulty producing it would be on our pockets as students.

This film helped me work through the anxiety and pain I’ve felt for the end of my relationship; one that has been so loving and wonderful, but is ending due to the star-crossed trajectories of our lives. I don’t know what life is going to be like once that dreaded day comes and she takes off, but by creating this film I’ve been able to find some closure to this future.