Wolf and Deer

Addiction to pornography is a subject I am familiar with. The character in my film
is a representation of my own coping with this form of addiction. I started writing
the script after a difficult breakup with my ex-partner, who caught me
corresponding with dozens of other girls on social media. Correspondence with
them was daily and intense. I have had dozens of intimate and sexual

relationships, and I did not feel that I was doing a bad thing, rather than that I
treated it as a tool for self-satisfaction like pornography. But it was not so, the
satisfaction I consumed was possible only from the thrill of the pursuit of these
women and the fact that they want me and will do whatever I ask of them. This
thing of course erupted inside me like I knew it would happen. Despite this I
continued, I tried to stop many times, I tried to satisfy these feelings by being
more present with my partner and satisfying myself through pornography without
correspondence with female strangers, but I could not. Although I did not
physically betray my partner, the breach of trust that existed between us was far
greater than infidelity that would involve sex with a stranger. Therefore, it was
important to me that the character in my film would not betray his wife with other
women but would rather betray in indirect ways. Adam uses Inbar's own body to
betray her, he drags her into his world, he hurts her and breaks her trust, he can
only be satisfied by the fact that other men want his wife. Addiction comes also
with an adrenaline rush from the fear of being caught, you feel a terrible fear
when you are in such a position, the fear of being exposed. I did all that I could
so my partner would not find out, though I always knew she would, and finally I
let it happen and stopped blurring my tracks. I had no strength left in me to keep
hiding, I felt dirty, like it was all a cancer cell lurking in me. I wanted it to just end.
She found out when I let her find out. In the film I want to reveal a world that is
not talked about enough and there is a lot of misunderstanding towards it. I
believe this is a real and painful problem. Millions of people are on sites like
these where men distribute nude pictures of their spouses. I am trying to show
that the person doing this is in severe distress and needs professional care. The
problem like any addiction stems from pain, fear and trauma from the past which
spoils the person’s consciousness and creates the problem of addiction.
Unfortunately so far, the problem is not professionally diagnosed and
unrecognized in the DSM-5 which is the main and global source for diagnosing
mental problems, therefore there is no way for these people to receive the
professional help they seek and need so very much, as I do too.