Ante Mortem

Ante Mortem is my most personal film yet—not that I have made that many. I am one of those film student who uses university education as a time to figure out what kind of filmmaker I want to be, as I have nothing set out before. My filmography consists of many films that I simply made for fun, and has little personal significance for me. Ante Mortem is my Renaissance; the moment where I began to see my films as a powerful medium for my voice.

I cannot state much about the film, because it itself is my statement. Ante Mortem started out as a promise I made as a little child, to immortalize my nanny in a way I know how. I owe her one, for providing me with a very stable childhood. The closest thing you can see on screen that could portray our relationship is perhaps Anthony Chen’s Ilo Ilo (2013). The end of my story was as, if not more, bitter. My restless self, though, cannot settle with a bad ending.

Ante Mortem is not about my childhood, or how it ends. Most importantly, it is about discovering myself. It is about figuring out how one’s past events can shape who they are now. It is about making peace and quitting ignorance. It’s about moving on in life and celebrating what is to come. What was in the past belongs only to us. The world forgets, but we stand by and forge anew. This spirit, I hope, will resonate with the audience.