This Too Shall Pass

This Too Shall Pass began as a harried “poem” scribbled in my journal one gloomy February afternoon in a crowded Subway sandwich shop in the center of Rome when I was able to snag a babysitter and get my first ever one hour break in over two months. Not having really enough time to sleep or do anything exciting or of consequence, I huddled over my American chocolate chip cookie, wondering why I ever thought it would be a good idea to have babies in a foreign country thousands of miles away from any family who could have lent a bit of emotional support. With wintery weather, no car, and most of my friends working during the day, it proved to be an isolating time to say the least.

I wasn't the stereotypical “bitchy” pregnant woman that sitcoms lovingly poke fun at to the sounds of canned laughter. However something DID happen chemically within me when my baby was born and I began nursing that amplified my negative emotions and robbed me of most of my happy ones. This was my second time experiencing a case of “mild” postpartum depression, and yet being mentally prepared for the turmoil the second time around proved to be of little comfort. I also found myself becoming hyper-sensitive to judgmental comments about my children from strangers and family alike, ie: the people who were supposed to be the most supportive.

I began working with the little poem as a sort of voiceover to an animation that I wanted to be about my ever-changing emotional state. I also wanted to show that despite my inner turmoil at the time, I really DO love my children and thus, the animation also became a reflection on how slowly and quickly time passes as well as on motherhood itself.

Even though I'm a working mother with a hectic job as a University Professor, my identity has always been rooted in the fact that I'm an artist and I make things. Being able to work on this animation a little bit day by day (when I actually could) was cathartic and healing. Through animating and the passage of time, I slowly began to feel somewhat human again. Most of the multimedia work that I tend to do aims to promote positive social change. This Too Shall Pass as well as Larry & Roz (2008), created after my beloved grandparents passed away, are different because they were made to heal my own emotional pain as well as somehow affix loved ones in an animated time capsule of my own making.

Two plus years later I still live in Italy but times are much better. My gorgeous and brilliant sons are almost three and five respectively. They won't understand or even be able to watch This Too Shall Pass in its entirety until they are older, but my hope is that it will someday mean as much to them as it does to me.