Where Monsters Lurk

From when Lindy first shared the original short story with me, as someone who's struggled with depression myself, I connected with the potential this story had to take something that we see as internal and make it visual, to give it a face and a physical presence in the world. If we can see things and name things that we're constantly fighting with invisibly, we can have more power over them. Even if we never get to vanquish them entirely.

That's something that's been important to us throughout the process of writing the script and visualizing how this story would come to life, is that we don't always fully vanquish our demons, our monsters. Sometimes we do – we can let them go, wash that unsightly monster right out of our hair, leave it behind and move on. But sometimes they're part of us, and we find ways to live with them.

Our creative team deliberately made the reflection not only look like an exaggerated version of all Kelly's perceived flaws, but had it whisper to her all the horrific things she worries that others might be thinking of her. Imagine the worst things you've ever thought about yourself or another person being said to you by your own reflection in the mirror. You would cover your mirrors with sheets, too.

One choice we made was to shoot the film from the point of view of the apartment itself, making the space Kelly lives in a character – the antagonist – of her story. Many shots are a variation on "over-the-shoulder," putting an object – i.e. the toaster, the music speaker, the coffee mug, the computer – in the foreground as if the object is in conversation with Kelly, even if no one's talking. All the objects are, in a sense, watching her and participating in her humiliation. Since the monster is internal, it can be anywhere – it can sing in the music she uses to try to relax; it can disrupt her creative process with predictions of failure; it can keep her from opening the door to let a friend intervene.

Through sound design, through the score, through a hauntingly claustrophobic set design, through the edit, and through Harmony's performance, we built the atmosphere that poisons and paralyzes Kelly's every step as she tries every way she knows how to pick herself up and salvage her waning day. I hope this film gives people a frame of reference to recognize their own struggles, or to empathize with the real obstacles people dealing with mental illness have to contend with every day.