Swings and Roundabouts

It was important to me to shoot this story on film in order to heighten the connection between the characters and the audience. As a theatre maker I prioritise this intimate relationship and as a filmmaker I truly believe that shooting on film as opposed to digitally provides a bigger opportunity for empathy in the viewer. The quality of film, especially in a dramatic story like this, just allows us to feel something deeper when watching the performances; the removal of the glossy veneer created by digital filmmaking creates cracks in the fourth wall allowing the way we view the film to be more like how we see in real life. This story is so small, so individual and quiet, that we had to make the most of the many still moments of silence in which we can really appreciate and feel the performances of this talented cast. As a first-time filmmaker it was an incredible challenge but I really want to transcend my skills with actors as a theatre director into working in film and wanted to capture these performances as intimately as possible with the audience at the forefront of my mind; the most obvious way to do this was through shooting on 16mm.

1 in 4 pregnancies result in miscarriage, most commonly before 12 weeks, through no fault of the mother, the father, the fates. Most often our bodies know when a foetus will turn into a healthy baby and steps in, but this scientific fact and common statistic doesn’t make it any less painful, doesn’t stop parents grieving the loss of a child they’d hoped for, doesn’t stop them blaming themselves and doesn’t stop them keeping this sad secret in the hope of not upsetting people outside of this experience.

In researching the story I realised I had many female friends I’d spoken to about their miscarriages in the past, so I made more of an effort to talk to male friends who had gone through the same. So often this is seen as a women’s issue because of course the physical process happens to the mother - but it’s a human issue. Among the things I heard from men were “I am not entitled to grieve”, “it’s my job to support her”, “I don’t know any other dads who have been through this”. It was important to me to show the emotional repercussions of miscarriage on the father, without diminishing the experience of the mother.

This is a quiet, intimate, authentic and important story, performed exquisitely by Mel and John and shot beautifully by David, and a whole heartedly collaborative project thanks to our producer Libby. It has been a privilege to direct such incredible artists, to have their trust and to return that trust back to them in the creating of Swings and Roundabouts.