Summon

Every time I come up with an idea for a film – whether it be experimental or narrative – it comes to me in my dreams. I imagine this is because the films I make are always extremely personal and dictated by what I constantly ruminate on and what goes on in my subconscious.
I had the extreme privilege to be part of a group of student filmmakers that went to Paris to shoot experimental films, and the entire experience, along with the film, was incredibly introspective. I spent a lot of time by myself, recounting my experiences and delving into my own perception of self. The film I made in Paris reflected the person I was while I was there, and fully represented my headspace at that time.
But the greater experience was the widening of my worldview, sparked not only by where I was, but by the incredibly strong, diverse, and complex women I had the pleasure of working with. These women helped me realize that the film I created, though somewhat universal, was extremely specific to my own experience, but that there are so many specific, yet equally compelling stories I could have told to express the experience of womanhood. I wanted to dig deeper and give voice to experiences that I had yet to fully understand.
During this phase of introspection, I finally looked up and saw hundreds of women who looked just like me -- white women of privilege; I started to think: how many of these women would fight for women of color on a daily basis, and I began to question my own behaviors. I realized my problem was that I was fighting in my head, but not in real life. I was part of the problem.
From that point onward, my dreams began to shift until I had the same dreams and nightmares over and over; those dreams have become the film I have created today. There's no way I could ever presume to know the experience of a woman of color, and this film doesn't intend to do that. Instead, it has grown out of a desire to show variations on a truth – no experience is more true or less true because it is still a human experience. It focuses on the individual rather than the general.
This is a film where I'm trying to do better, not only as a filmmaker, but as a white woman, and as a human on this earth.