SWITCH

Early in 2011, while having dinner with a good friend, I heard the word dominatrix for the first time. I was complaining to him about being broke, divorced, wanting to get my own place and make a comfortable living. I was struggling to finish my first documentary and I became very defensive as he went on to say I’d make a little
fortune working as dominatrix and then talked about fetishes and role play scenarios.
As I listened, I felt offended, uncomfortable but, strangely, also extremely curious and fascinated by this new world being presented to me. I assumed that what he was talking about was sex work but he stopped me abruptly and said: “It’s anything but!
It’s all in the head. People, I mean guys like me or anyone else you know, will pay a shit load of money to have a certain type of role play, fantasy, experience, whatever, come to life. It has nothing to do with sex. Sure, it’s a major turn on, but this is all legal
because there’s no sex involved...Come on, Stavy. Don’t tell me you’ve never heard about this.”

I was blown away. I went home and stayed up researching this mysterious new world and trying to understand what is it that drives men to go see a dominatrix, and what is
it that makes a woman choose this career path...the reasons why people are drawn to this type of work, experience and play go deep into the essence of who we truly are. This idea of consensual exchange of power between the two sexes and the reasons
behind it left me speechless. Being raised in a patriarchal society I had been conditioned in ways that held me back, diminished my power and I was just beginning to realize all this.

It took me a little over a year of digging in before I mustered the courage to apply for the job of a dominatrix at a very well respected BDSM Establishment in New York City, right next to Bryant Park. By that point, I knew that there has never been a project delving into the world of BDSM and peeling it off layer by layer to explore what drives people into this lifestyle, why is it still such a taboo. I wanted to experience this first-hand and use this as the subject of my next documentary.

How does a woman become a great dominatrix and why are men of all financial, religious, and ethnic backgrounds willing to give up their power to one? More important, who are these people and how do they go about their lives once they walk out of that safe space where they have just revealed their deepest fears, trauma,
fantasies?

I went in for the interview in jeans, a sweater and boots. It was Friday the 13th and it was raining like crazy. The manager asked me about my accent, what other jobs I’d done before, how tall I was, what’s my shoe size. Five minutes into the interview I was
told to come up with my dominatrix name and let her know when I can begin training.

Three days later I began my transformation from Stavroula Toska to Mistress Kassandra. By the end of my first week at work, I looked at myself in the mirror and could not recognize the person I was looking at. Two weeks into the job I knew that
my life would never be the same again.

In the end, I realized that this job was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Inside the walls of a dungeon, day in and day out, I was granted the freedom to be my authentic self, to raise my voice, to feel my feelings without apologizing or having to
make any excuses. I was reminded of how important and how much more fun it is to live in the present moment. I was entrusted with people’s darkest secrets and in return I trusted them with mine. The catharsis had begun. I felt like I had been sleeping my
whole life and I was just waking up. My friends started noticing things — I stood taller, walked slower, felt more in control, took my time before speaking, became more decisive, owned every word I said, stopped apologizing all the time, and I slept better.
The men I dominated helped me tap into my power source by simply reminding me that I had every right to do so. They let me into their thinking process, the way they look at the world, women, family, religion, you name it.

Five years into working as a dominatrix I was offered 1.2M dollars to do something for a client that would potentially put my life at risk. If I got caught, I’d be hung by a tree and made an example of in Pakistan, where my client was from. By that point I had
long left the BDSM dungeon I was working in and had gotten into the independent dominatrix game — a whole other world! This offer, and the fact that I was seriously thinking about accepting it, made me stop at my tracks and seriously consider what I
wanted to do next with my life. I left the business soon after and instead of making the documentary about this world, I decided to create a scripted series based on my experiences as one of the top dominatrixes in New York City.

The first person I spoke to about this was my mentor, Olympia Dukakis. I can still picture her face as I told her what I’d been up to and asking her to be a part of SWITCH, to play the owner of the BDSM Establishment. “Darling, listen to me...you
made a mistake and went down a dangerous path. Next time you need money or help, just come to me. Don’t ask me to be part of a project like this. I’ve heard about the type of people who do that sort of...stuff. They’re all sick and perverted.” I asked
Olympia, and her husband who had joined the conversation at that point, to hear me out. I went on to talk and share everything I had learned and been through with them. Louis’ jaw had dropped. Olympia’s eyes were filled with tears. She told me she would
help me in any way she can to bring this project to the world. She went on to become an advocate for SWITCH and speak about it with her children, friends, colleagues.

The series features an ensemble cast and takes viewers on a journey to the riveting aspects of being human from a deeply benevolent, unorthodox and cerebral POV. We follow Stella and the main characters as they navigate leading a double life, the
struggle for power, identity, ambition, love and family.

The title refers to the switch we make when we explore our other side, when we go through the darkness in order to find our light, when we start listening to the parts of our self that have been shamed to silence, when we hit rock bottom and start rising
again. Switch is also a popular term used in BDSM practice representing the power exchange between two consenting adults of the opposite sex.

I created this series after realizing that there is a whole aspect to the BDSM industry that no one talks about. It’s still considered a taboo, even though we live in a time where Ivy League schools such as Harvard, Princeton, Cornell, Columbia and more
have allowed the formation of official BDSM Clubs for their students.

NYT best-selling author Brené Brown hits it right on the mark in her book Daring Greatly when she talks about the desperate need we all have to be real, to feel, to connect, to be vulnerable without being afraid.

The stories are endless.

The life lessons are priceless.

The bonds formed between a client and his/her dominatrix unbreakable.

The time to SWITCH has come.

Sincerely,
Stavroula Toska