REVENGEANCE 4000

It was a year ago today that I was raped. Not for the first time, or the second time, but the third time. My girlfriend was the first to know – I came home that night, gave my friend water and a bag as she threw up on the side of the road outside my house, and had a panic attack. I remember calling my mom the morning after, she weeped, begging me to come home to which I rejected. I’ll never know why I made that choice. I told my best friend, who sat there in silence with me as I cried. “Not again” I muttered in between breaths. I told my professors, who then told me I had to tell title ix, which I did. I told people I didn’t want to tell.

I was called a liar and a cunt. The words I’m sorry flowed out of me like blood to a heart. I couldn’t eat without throwing up, I couldn’t sleep without night terrors, I didn’t take a deep breath for what felt like 8 months, constantly trying to remember who I was before, and always coming up short of an answer. I thought after it happened that I could talk the hurt out of me. That if I told enough people, eventually the right person would say the right thing and I would be fixed. It would all go away, but it never did.

It was a Tuesday, I believe, when I saw him walking on the street - in the same jeans he was wearing, the same shirt, the same face and hands and he was laughing as he walked with his friend. I watched him and watched him waiting for him to look back and see me – I wanted him to look me in the eyes and see what he had done, and yet, he kept walking.

Women have been taught their entire lives to keep smiling, do what’s asked of you, stay silent. But what happens when that fails us? Billy, our protagonist, is a symbol of the answer to that question. We must scream, we must fight back, we must burn down the systems that never protected us and continue to not. Billy’s story is one in a sea of millions. A story of pain and rage and friendship and rebellion.

But our film isn’t just about revenge, as it seems on the surface, it’s about how we can heal. How beauty, love, and companionship can coexist with trauma, agony, and grief. How absolutely vital it is for women to be there for each other.

My dear friend, Liv, was there for me at my absolute lowest and I couldn’t dream of a better person to tell this story with. This is a testament to our shared struggles and love for each other.

I hope our story is one you can connect with, something you can walk away from and feel seen and heard. I thank you for this opportunity and couldn’t be more thrilled to bring this voice to life.