Pupa Interna

Around the time that I turned 12, my arms inexplicably grew up before the rest of me did. Suddenly, I could be sitting at my mom's desk, and reach things on high shelves without standing up. I remember the giddy excitement that came with this newfound power. At the same time, I was often anxious about leaving childhood behind. I worried that one day my current childhood self would suddenly cease to exist, and I didn't know what kind of self would replace me.

At the time, I imagined that the adult replacement would be some more permanent, more stable version of myself. However, as an adult, I don't feel like I have ever stabilized. My beliefs, preferences, my personality, and my appearance have all changed in ways that I never imagined as a child, and they continue to change now. I have wondered if perhaps other adults are experiencing a degree of flux beneath the surface of their stable adult personas.

In the film Pupa Interna, I wanted to explore these emotions; the constant struggle of letting go of old identities to embrace new unknown ones, and the freedom and anxiety that comes with this process.