Private Project

My First Death

A young man feels experiencing like his own death after he does not find his loving goat which was sold by his parents for the festival.

  • Phadindra Budhathoki
    A Child Teacher
  • Phadindra Budhathoki
  • Phadindra Budhathoki
  • Sushant Shrestha
    The Shoes of a Little Girl, Yet Another Winter, Wheels On The Bus
  • Prakash Rokka
    Key Cast
  • Project Type:
  • Runtime:
    14 minutes 59 seconds
  • Completion Date:
    October 31, 2023
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Director Biography - Phadindra Budhathoki

Phadindra Budhathoki is a Nepal-based filmmaker. He has done his master's in media technology, specializing in Television Broadcasting from Shepherd College and he holds a bachelor’s degree in screenwriting and direction from Oscar International College alongside multiple bachelor’s degrees in business studies He is a lecturer in Oscar International College He has got appreciation from the film development board of Nepal for his work. He has attended the master class with Sri Lankan Film
maker Vimukthi Jayasundara.
His Short Film A Child Teacher ( 2019) had an official selection in various film festivals around the globe.

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Director Statement

I was born in a village in the Eastern part of Nepal. I grew with the smell of trees, sound of river, with the tradition and culture of the local communities. Among these traditions, Dashain is a main festival of Nepal. It is celebrated for 10 continuous days worshipping goddess Durga and have 5 additional days visiting all the near one relatives and taking blessings. The main food for the festival is Mutton. This too has been so much as tradition that even poor people take loan and sacrifice the goat to enjoy it with relatives. This has always pinched my heart from childhood. The subject is so much in practice that no one cares about the sacrifice of those goats, the life and feeling of those innocent animals.
I have seen many goat’s kid born and grown up in my house as well. The kids are so innocent that they run and jump and play. But all these are taken great care just to sacrifice it in Dashain. Not only in my house but it is done in all Nepal. I have been psychologically disturbed by this tradition since my childhood. So I have decided to calm down my psychological suffocation of this practice, with the background effect of a decade long civil war, during which period I grew up to teenage. That is why I am showing the relationship of life between the human and animals in this film.
This self exploration of pain and learning inspired me to write and make Light within Darkness and just to have the sense of isolation I have chosen my village in Morang for the location where I still have vivid memories of my childhood where I have seen the goats slaughtered. It gives me the feeling of contrast that darkest and unimaginable life of goat still occurs, which was being sacrificed in that scenario. To give the authenticity, I have chosen typical Nepali spoken in Eastern Nepal with the local taste of music. Since the story is very close to my heart, I have chosen my family members themselves as in the other characters.