Lapse

For years, swimming was my all-consuming passion, defining my routines, social life, and academic pursuits. I was surrounded by people with the exact same mindset: a hunger to win. When the pandemic hit and my swimming career and senior year came to an untimely end, I found myself stuck in limbo. My life turned into unusable time spent laying in bed, watching horror movies, and mulling through stories both real and made up. I thought of my coach who told us he would lay in bed at night with a stopwatch in hand, mentally swimming his race. I thought of myself and how I’d train my body and mind to endure the pain of going just a millisecond faster. I thought of my teammate who cried to us in the locker room when she failed her class, “swimming is the only thing I’m good at!” Then, I thought of Terry. Obsessive and at the top of her game with everything to lose and only herself in the way. I wanted to tell her story through the lens of horror, drawing inspiration from my favorites like Black Swan and Saint Maud. Lapse stands as a tangible representation of my return to the pool and a translation of my reflections of competition and obsession into a living work of art.