I Did Not Wake Up Dead Today

For most of my life, I have grappled with chronic depression. But I was often met with judgement or criticism when sharing my struggle with others. This experience encouraged me to use cinema as a tool to represent this mental illness in a way that helps tackle the social stigma.
This is the thought-process that birthed, “I Did Not Wake Up Dead Today”.
I wanted to create a living dialogue through film that would not only combat this general lack of understanding, but would also encourage empathy for those struggling with this mental illness. And a teddy bear? Well, that’s disarming. I knew that a teddy bear would subvert viewers’ expectations of what depression is supposed to look and feel like, because a teddy bear represents warmth and nostalgia, not suicide and depression. And when you see this symbol of childhood memories engulfed in a depressive episode, suddenly something stirs inside of you. You have empathy.
And so, aptly named Erinbear, I used my own childhood teddy to tell my story. Not only does a teddy bear help integrate humour into the narrative, but it also acts as a great metaphor for how difficult everyday life can be to survive: If a teddy bear cannot move its limbs, how can we expect a depressed person to? So this film was created for me, and for all sufferers of the everyday, so that we can share our story and retreat from the shadows of our shame.