IAM

We made IAM during the Covid pandemic. I was inspired by the virus, and by how curiosity could transport me beyond fear and shift my perspective. IAM means ‘now’ and tells 4 very different stories that all happened at the same time. Simultaneous tales, but at increasingly larger scales of materiality. IAM begins in the microscopic realm and ends in the cosmic. The story is told through dance, shot outdoors at night using projection as the only source of light.

Alone in my studio under lockdown, I was curious about the shape and life cycle of the virus, how it needed human molecules to replicate it. I began to experiment with projecting 3D videos of rotating covid and human molecules onto large trees and grass outside. The story took shape as a molecular dance with nature as its stage. As the pandemic unfolded I noticed that size mattered. At the molecular level it was a compelling story of interspecies co-operation. In the human realm it was a tale of struggle and overcoming. For the planet it was a happy release with clean air and water and open spaces for other creatures. Out in the cosmos our plight was immaterial. This perspective made me relax, and I wanted to share the feeling. But we were all isolated from one another. The University of Toronto was a ghost town. Some laboratories were still operating minimally, and I was in the middle of a residency at an imaging lab there. For the second and third acts of IAM I imaged bodily tissues, and plants using fluorescent and electron microscopes. I loved the reversal of scale when these microscopic images were projected large outdoors. Humans become small features in this vast landscape. In the summer of 2020 a small group of collaborators came together in the darkness to watch the first of the scenography cast onto nature and our project together began. Our process was adaptive and experimental. Strict constraints shaped our work together. We gathered in groups of 5 or under and worked outdoors. We developed and shot IAM in one location. Choreography, music, projected scenography and costumes were developed simultaneously. Our approach was to keep going as we could, to sustain a creative practice together throughout the pandemic as we created IAM. Shooting the dance as a film was a choice we made because we couldn’t play this work live and we wanted to share it. People were suffering. IAM was made in uncertain times, when none of us knew when we would be able to gather again. Production was challenging because we could only develop from June to August and film in September as we created our stage from light projected onto leaves and grass. We had to wait for the leaves to emerge, and finish before they changed color. We did this for 3 years in a row to finish the 4 acts of IAM. Filming was intense and at times difficult for the dancers because we had to work exclusively at night and outdoors.

It was fitting that we had to roll with mother nature as we contended with the elements.
Our enmeshment within nature is the overarching theme of IAM. We’ve taught ourselves to believe in the dominion of human beings, that we exist at the top of a hierarchy of nature. In reality, we are part of an interwoven tapestry of life, and cannot separate ourselves from it, or control it. But we can be curious about it, and make our way forward with less fear as we reframe our thinking about nature and our place in it.