Figments

There are quite a few reasons why and how this story came to be, the first of which is I wanted to write a story that was personal to me. The truth is that when I was first buckling down to write a story for my capstone (which is basically like coming out/coming of age, a declaration of independance, and a personality quiz all wrapped up into one) I was feeling very blocked and going through a depressive episode. I realized very early on that I had no choice but to write something personal because I could only write about what I was going through. That being said, early drafts were far more experimental and somewhat grandiose for what a broke college student could reasonably film. After many drafts, the story changed and grew into something I wouldn’t have even been able to imagine at the start but still held in it’s essence a story about me. A girl who’s only coping skill was her imagination. A girl with social anxiety and intrusive thoughts that often try to overtake her life. A girl with depression and a loving family who want to be there to support her. A girl who had to make an active choice to open up.
Now, this all sounds truly down to earth and grounded, but what you don’t know about me is that I love to laugh. In addition, I often laugh, even in the throws of depression, because comedy is my other secret coping skill. So my story is, in fact, a Dramatic Comedy. It also features an imaginary clown. It should be noted, they are not the only source of comedic relief. They are however, a way to glimpse the inner mind of the protagonist. They are also a way for me to exercise my Art Department background. One of the main things I want to shine is the costumes and world.
The imagination of my protagonist needs to feel bright, saturated, and stylized compared to everything else. This is crucial to the story and how she sees the world. One of my favorite things in film is how I can use so many different elements to bring the audience into the mind of the characters. Cinematography is another big element for me. Lens choice for certain scenes will be carefully thought out based on the protagonist's mental state.. For example, I plan to use an extremely wide lens, almost fisheye level, to distort the imaginary friend’s face in high stress scenes.
For me, this film is about personal expression first and foremost. I’d love to be able to showcase in festivals but really that is secondary to portraying the story. This is a passion project that I want to put as much of myself into as possible. The characters all mean so much to me and most are small depictions of real people who are in my life. Of course, I like to let things breathe. Nothing in my film is a direct imitation of my life but they all carry the essence of the person they were originally modeled after. My ultimate goal for this film is to make a good one. I’ll be satisfied if it’s cohesive and if it has its moments where all sorts of different elements get to shine through. I know my team is a brilliant and hard working crew who care deeply about film. They also care about bringing my vision to life. I want people to walk away after seeing all our hard work and feel a sense of completion. I want people to feel seen and get the idea that a chapter of life has ended. Bittersweet moments are the hardest for me in real life and in fiction. I hope my resolution can give that to people.