Dripping

Over the past few years, I have gone through immense personal transformation, grappling with my gender identity, queerness, and my place in the world. I was inspired to make Dripping to explore this transformation and because of our dancer, Jacquelyn Tepper (they/them).

Jacquelyn and I met when we were in college together. Jacq was two years younger than I was but ahead of me on their own coming out journey. Since I first met Jacquelyn, they have inspired me. I love the way they move and express themself and I’ve always looked up to them. When I knew they would be available to shoot a project, I started choreographing specifically for Jacquelyn.

I wanted to explore themes of gender and earth and self-expression. I envisioned Jacq all dressed up in black tie, femme attire. Even though they look beautiful, they’re moving through a very dry, dead landscape.

I wanted to contrast this high-femme attire and dry environment, with a more relaxed, free, and natural look and environment. I wanted the more genderqueer self-expression to exist in this hydrated and gorgeous landscape.

All these elements represent metaphors for my own personal journey and identity. I have felt extreme pressure to perform as a woman as the only way to be seen. When I have strayed from that identity, I have felt like an outsider. Though being genderqueer makes me feel othered from those around me, it also makes me feel more connected to the earth.

I find the lesson I keep learning over and over again is that the universe provides when you are fully self-aligned. Dripping follows this struggle – the fight between what’s expected and what feels good to you individually.

I chose to end the piece with the dancer walking away into the ocean because with the camera pointed at them, regardless of the expression, the dancer is performing in some way. Once the camera cuts, the dancer is truly free. Free from being seen and perceived by others, free to simply be themselves and be one with the earth (or the ocean).