De Nul

“Growing up in North Brabant, I had a friend who was different from my others; more introverted with a metropolitan accent. We had a great click. l I always cycled with him. We drove out of the village along a long highway, further and further away from the built-up area. The smell of freshly turned soil overcame me. We cycled over an abandoned viaduct and via a lonely dirt road we eventually arrived at his house. I found a huge dilapidated building in the middle of nowhere, which turned out to be his parents' house. A magical place free from everything and everyone. I met his parents and was amazed at their unusual names. Years later I gradually discovered more details about their "separate" existence. It turned out that the father had fled his old life in Leiden to start a new life with his family. He had even gone so far as to change his name.

But why? Why does a father withdraw from an existing society? I never got a concrete answer to this. Herein lies the basis of the film, mixed with the baggage of my own life experience: My brother leaving behind his three-year-old daughter by suicide. In her old age, of course, she also has questions. What would it be like to meet her father again years later? What questions would you ask your father if you could speak to him again after all this time? These questions are close to my heart. Feelings about the impact parenting has on a child. What unconscious traumas do you transfer to your siblings? When a parent leaves their child on purpose, where is the line between doing so out of protection for your child, or for self-centered reasons. Somehow I link my feelings for upbringing with that special place of seclusion, and I want to unite it in film."