Script File

Cj and Claudia on the Ellen show

Two infamous scammers who stand up for minorities’ rights show up on the Ellen
DeGeneres to clear their names from false rumors about their intentions.
CJ and CLAUDIA are two infamous scammers whose identities remain unknown to the
public. They use their conning abilities to unravel the truth behind the social system’s gaps
like unprocessed police brutality cases against black men and minorities.
The topic about the two scammers is being discussed on the Ellen DeGeneres’ show with
KEVIN HART and JENNIFER LOPEZ. As they ask the audience for their opinion, Claudia,
disguised as an old woman, and CJ, disguised as an African native man on a wheelchair,
say nothing but good things about the scammers. They go to a commercial break and
Claudia and CJ sneak their way backstage to a bathroom where they set up a surprise for
the show. However, they forget to turn off the mics they were given while being
interviewed and start making sex right when the show goes back live for everyone to hear.
The set gets swarmed by the police looking for CJ and Claudia and now they must run.
They blow up a guacamole bomb on stage as a diversion and run away, bumping into
super-stoned SNOOP DOGG and WIZ KHALIFA, who end up inviting them to their
backstage room where MARTHA STEWART bakes happy crunchy weed-packed cookies
for everybody. Snoop and Wiz help CJ and Claudia escape. They make it to their car
where they are spotted by a security guard as they escape.
They get to an airport where Claudia’s cousin, JUAN, helps them get on board a cargo
plane but just when they are preparing to sneak their way into the plane, the happy
cookies hit and they have this crazy tripping hype, picturing crazy stuff like Claudia’s hair
on fire and CJ climbing Rapunzel’s tower, risking being seen by the police.
They snap out of it and get to the plane only to find it is full of zoo animals as it takes off. A
little turbulence makes the animals go wild and the CO-PILOT heads to the cargo area to
check on them, spotting CJ and Claudia and mistaking them for terrorists. The PILOT and
CO-PILOT freak out and jump out of the plane, leaving the couple to try and pilot the plane
with a YouTube video for beginners with Morgan Freeman’s voice. A zebra and two
monkeys break lose into the pilot cabin, making the situation even worse and more
hysterical. They finally jump out of the plane with all the animals, everyone wearing
parachutes. The cops wait for them on the ground as they slowly and helplessly descend
to their capture.
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  • Jonathan Bowman
  • Daniel Noel
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    United States
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Writer - Jonathan Bowman, Daniel Noel