CLOWN

My thirteen-year-old sister recently told me that she thought her Indian nose was "ugly". I thought I had taught her enough about self-acceptance. I wrongfully assumed that I had gone through enough of the hard parts of adolescence as an Indian teen, so that she wouldn't have to. It hurt me to know that society was still rejecting so many parts of her and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I also made ‘Clown’ so that my thirteen-year old sister would hang out with me. One day I woke up and my little sister was gone and in her place was a teenage demon who thought I was totally embarrassing. So I made this film to remind her of all the things she used to like when she was younger and that it was okay even if it meant she may not be liked by others.

So we made this film on lots of love and very little budget. My sister and I finally hung out; we had to, she was in the film. And it was the best 3 days of my life, but she finally thinks I’m cool so please don’t tell her I said that.

These are some of the most definitive years of my sister's life. She is at the pinnacle of deciding which parts of herself to keep and which to abandon, as well as learning how to claim the agency she has over those decisions. This film is my subtle way of helping her and other Indian girls to know that it's natural to want to change, adapt and crave inclusion but it can also be really fun to be yourself in full throttle. And perhaps when you find home within yourself, you may also feel less alone.