BABY

I chose to direct this film because of my deep desire to spark conversations on the film’s two major themes: motherhood and the homeless crisis. These are topics that I’ve passionately explored in my work as a songwriter and recording artist and one day, the story of Rose - the main character - came to me in an instant and I felt compelled to share her story.

On homelessness: I watch daily as my city continues to allow people to live under expressways in tattered tents with rubbish as furniture. So many of us feel helpless and cannot understand how our government can ignore the fact that so many are cornered into a life void of basic human needs. It’s degrading and inhumane. Those human beings in tent city or curled up over stinky sewers and in bank corners in the dead of winter have names and hearts and stories and dreams. Rose is one of them. And even amidst her gruelling life on the streets in a post-pandemic, power and politic-centric metropolis where everyone only lives for him or herself, Rose still has this very human desire to be a good mother and to love a child. She didn’t necessarily choose her circumstance and like many other people on the streets, she finds it near impossible to break free from it. And so the end of the film is more a commentary on the cycle that these poor people are continuously forced to be a part of. Rose is no more mentally ill than the system. The system has failed both her and her dreams and she is simply doing her best to survive in a world that grants her no dignity. The plot twist at the end only proves that the end of the story for someone like Rose will always be the same. That the cycle of poverty and powerlessness perpetuates itself and a ‘real’ child would have most likely been taken from her in the end anyhow amidst her attempts to navigate a system that refuses to let her succeed.

On motherhood: As a middle-aged woman who for a long time painfully desired to bring a child into this world, I have had my fair share of personal breakdowns and quite the journey in and out of relationships and fertility clinics all to end up childless. And so, through the character of Rose, this film questions what it is to be a mother and explores certain things that might stand in someone’s way in living out that calling or deep desire. Sometimes, there are circumstances that make it difficult or impossible to enter motherhood. Sometimes this potentially empty void finds its filling through other forms of maternal love Through Rose - a homeless woman who does all that she can to keep her new baby safe and warm through a cold Toronto winter - my hope is that the audience recognizes her deep love for her child even when she finds herself in a living situation that makes it near impossible to provide safety for both herself and her baby. And of course, there is a plot twist at the end which I’m excited to explore in depth during future Q & A’s.

This production was extra special in my careful curation of an entirely female and gender-diverse crew from on set to post-production. It was my first experience writing, directing, and producing while also starring in the piece. Of course there were challenges that came with that as it’s always nice to have a strong set of eyes outside the world of the film, but I think everyone’s hard work and focus and many of our key crew’s expertise became the glue we needed to bring this story to life. I managed to acquire donations from many of my music and film fans to help with costs and after an 18 hour shoot day and months of post-production, we brought Rose’s story to fruition.

This production has been such a valuable learning experience for me as a storyteller and filmmaker. Having had my hand in so many roles, I got to witness first hand all that goes into every step of bringing a story to the screen. I was meditating in a hot yoga class one day after months of finally coming to terms with the fact that my dream of being a mother would most likely not come true, and the film played out in my mind right there in that instant. I saw a woman thieving something and anxiously rushing through a noisy city only to get back to a dimly-lit motel room and her baby. She shoplifted milk of course and locks herself inside for a few extra days to avoid exposing her child to the brutal cold. During this meditation I saw the struggle with police and of course the plot twist at the end which had me in tears. I left class to call my collaborator, friend and cinematographer Marine Ottogalli, and reiterated the story and she was sold. I hope that BABY pulls at people’s heartstrings, brings up conversations about the homeless crisis and possible solutions, about how we need more human dignity and kindness in this world, about how sometimes a dream or desire can be so strong, and only our circumstances will determine whether those dreams come to fruition, and how a mother’s love really knows no bounds. This one is for Rose and for those living without warm beds or a roof over their heads, but with dreams in their hearts. This one is for anyone who’s ever wanted to be a mother.