A Meaning for Suffering

Teegan, depressed and alone, attempts to take her own life. She enters her mind through a mirror where she is met by her voice of hope, Anima. Teegan casts Anima out of her mind as she blames her for her depression. After removing all hope from her mind, Teegan slices her arm open and begins to bleed out as she enters her mind once again. This time Teegan is confronted by her voice of reason, Animus. Using his Lasso of Reason, Animus binds Teegan to her stool and forces her to listen to him. Teegan attempts to trick the voice of reason to let her free. Animus isn’t fooled and shames Teegan. The darkness within Teegan’s mind begins to spread and engulf her mind space. With one last plea to not give up on life, Anima forces her way back into Teegan’s mind and unites with Animus to argue that there are reasons to have hope. Together they convince Teegan to confront her trauma and try to live for more than just herself. Teegan cuts the tape that protects her from her trauma and escapes her mind where she tourniquets her arm and uses her spilled blood to write “A Meaning For Suffering” on the mirror.

  • Christopher John Gonzales
    Legato, Stuck, Quicksand
  • Christopher John Gonzales
    Legato, Stuck, Quicksand
  • Katie Baker
    In Good Time
  • Willa Cohn
    Key Cast
  • Lucas Barta
    Key Cast
  • Julia Hilliard
    Key Cast
  • Sean Wada
    Director of Photography
    Double Tap
  • Project Type:
    Short, Student
  • Genres:
    Musical, Psychological Drama, mental health
  • Runtime:
    11 minutes
  • Production Budget:
    300 USD
  • Country of Origin:
    United States
  • Country of Filming:
    United States
  • Language:
  • Shooting Format:
  • Aspect Ratio:
  • Film Color:
  • First-time Filmmaker:
  • Student Project:
    Yes - University of Colorado Denver
Director Biography - Christopher John Gonzales

Christopher Gonzales is a Colorado native who has spent his life chasing the American dream. The son of a Cuban refugee and grandson of a Scottish migrant, Chris has been encouraged to chase his passions since he was able to walk. As a child, he pursued a career as a professional athlete until he suffered a severe injury while playing collegiate basketball that ended his prowess of achieving his dreams. After years of self-exploration, Chris found a new purpose in life, sharing his experiences through storytelling. As a writer, Chris loves utilizing the different mediums of art to spread his wisdom. Whether it's poetry, music, tv, theater, or film, he will continue to try and inspire generations to come through his artwork.

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Director Statement

Having big dreams for your future can lead to letting yourself down when you do not succeed in accomplishing these dreams. Especially when someone deals with an anxiety disorder that brings depression, hope can seem like a poison when you feel hopeless. I once pursued a career as a professional athlete but an injury forced me to give up that dream. This led my depression to spiral out of control as I had no drive or faith in myself to become anything other than an athlete. My suicidal tendicies began under this diress which led me to self medicate my negative thoughts. At my lowest point in life I found meaning for my suffering in sharing my truths with the world. Finding purpose as someone who can express my traumas allowed me to be hopeful that I can make a change in the world. Through the Art of Recovery I have been able to use my craft as a therapeutic and healthy way to process my own traumas and grow as a human being.