Before The Hug

The Story Behind The Scenes:

"I was dead in the morning of 23rd of March 2014, bloody anger and scalding pain were like lava exploded from a volcano. I couldn't stop myself crying and shouting in my apartment in south east London, I felt like my spirit was hang around between a fine line of psychotic and 'the normal', everything was so wrong and lose in control for me, I had no clue why I still alive and I could not give myself a reason to keep living my life.

While the morning running out in its very last minute, the whole room smell like deadly hopeless, I was about to totally lose control. At this very moment, the idea of hug myself flashed through my head, so I stood over there and closed my eyes, imaging there is 'another me' hugging 'myself', 'me' put 'myself' in her arms tightly, let 'myself' cry in her arms. Time was freezing, everything was holding their breath, I could feel the warmth passing from 'me' to 'myself'.

'I know, honey, I know! but I am still here for you!' 'Me' told 'myself'.

And that was the hug, the very first hug and the warmest hug from me to myself, the arms, the warmth and the hug was like spring water for a desert. The whole room suddenly became so quiet and peaceful, I could feel the sunshine coming through window and trying to reach me! And that was my rebirth from the hug! The warmest hug from 'me' to 'myself'.

Though this story had became the past of mine now, with a “Bisexual - Bipolar” identity, I am having a brand new life after THE HUG, I still having some frustrated moments in a daily life, and what I do is to let me hug myself, and it did helping me a lot, so this is why I am making this short video, hope it can draw a little inspiration for those who still in pain, still struggling, still suffering and still lost in life. No matter what happened, please remember give yourself a smile, tell yourself you understand, and give yourself the warmest hug!"



Film Description:

Drawdeo is the name given to my art works since 2015, a new art form combine graphic design and experimental film together, developing from paper based drawing to time based video, Draw+Video=Drawdeo. The key distinction from motion graphic, Drawdeo full-fills the magnetism of illustration. It working closely with a completed meters-long illustration, simply created by camera moving on paper smoothly.

‘Before The Hug’ is a drawdeo work which I created in the summer of 2015. The illustration work, with a width of 400 inches and a height of 20 inches, comes from the inspirations that I collected in my sketchbook and delineated the vital moments before I had rebirth. It is a profound record of inner struggle and rebirth, which is intend to bring a further solution to the conversation about the burden of loneliness and isolation.