I Have Lost Myself


“The more I performed as my mother, the more I became her. I am writing a script about her and me and our relationship and how we have reluctantly reversed our roles - Mother and Daughter. I am slowly losing myself, just as my mother is losing herself. I am taking on my mother’s identity by performing as her and by caring for her and writing about her. By shooting a film a day, I am forced to film when I don’t always want to.”

I Have Lost Myself documents the daily rehearsals and technical experiments of the performance piece, Give Me the Key. Filmed daily over thirty days for a future live art performance, the artist sets up her experiments in-between caring for her mother who is never seen but is ever-present in another room. The strain of filming every day while caring for a mother near the end of her life becomes too much. After a trip out to the pub where her mother has an outburst, the artist breaks down on camera and admits for the first time that she is her mother's full-time carer and not the independent creative she once was. What unfolds is the colliding of performance and the every day as the artist slowly loses her sense of self.

I Have Lost Myself documents the daily rehearsals and technical experiments of Give Me the Key, filmed daily over thirty days for a future live art performance in-between caring for her mother in another room. What unfolds is the colliding of performance and the every day as the artist slowly loses her sense of self.

I Have Lost Myself is a powerful and disturbing compilation from 300+ videos, filmed daily over thirty days, depicting the raw and honest portrait of living with dementia and the blurring of the artist process. It is a powerful and disturbing statement on family relationships and responsibility.

I Have Lost Myself is a powerful and disturbing statement on family relationships and responsibility. What unfolds is the colliding of performance and the every day as the artist slowly loses her sense of self.

28:09 mins Color/Sound

  • Ginger Liu
    Director
  • Ginger Liu
    Writer
  • Ginger Liu
    Producer
  • Ginger Liu
    Key Cast
  • Sam Liu
    Sound Mixer
  • Project Type:
    Documentary, Experimental, Short
  • Genres:
    experimental, documentary, arthouse
  • Runtime:
    28 minutes 9 seconds
  • Completion Date:
    August 12, 2017
  • Country of Origin:
    United Kingdom
  • Country of Filming:
    United Kingdom
  • Language:
    English
  • Shooting Format:
    Digital DSLR
  • Aspect Ratio:
    16.9
  • Film Color:
    Color
  • First-time Filmmaker:
    No
  • Student Project:
    No
  • Richter Festival
    Moscow
    Russian Federation
    August 19, 2017
Director - Ginger Liu